Rosie
Samaritan Women Testimony
Hello, my
name is Rosie. I grew up believing that God didn’t love me since my own
father didn’t love me enough to stick around. I didn’t feel loved by my
mother, because she was physically abusive towards me. I was second to the
oldest of 6 children, which meant that I had to take care of the younger
children, clean house, and cook most of the meals without complaining. I
grew up hating my father for abandoning me, and angry with my mother for all
the physical/sexual abuse that was done to me by my step-fathers. I
believed that God could not love someone like me who always seemed to feel
dirty, unworthy of being loved, and as a result, I hated my life.
I was 18 years old
when I began to use alcohol/drugs, going in and out of jail. The court
would order me to do a program, but I was unsuccessful since I did not have
a relationship with God. My children suffered a great deal living with me
throughout my addiction. My children were also physically and sexually
abused as they grew up, repeating the pattern I knew. I am ashamed of the
lifestyle that I lived in having unstable relationships, abusing alcohol and
drugs and going in/out of jail. But most of all, I regret having hurt my
children.
On March 7, 1990, I
was arrested for the last time being under the influence of narcotics, and I
was released on May 18, 1990. During my stay, upon the insistence of my
friend Vicky Valdez, I began to attend the Chapel Services. I saw that
Chaplains come into the pod, and Vicky encouraged me to talk to Chaplain
Nancy, and Chaplain Davis. I saw the beautiful Bibles that shined like
gold. At that time, the Lord put it in my heart to do Bible Studies to earn
a Bible for my daughter who was about to come home from a group home in
Sacramento. I wanted my daughter to know that I was truly sorry for messing
up and ending up in jail when she was supposed to come home.
The Lord is so good to
me because He has never left me alone to myself. My grandmother and aunt
were the prayer warriors that carried me through every difficult situation
until I came back to the Lord on a Palm Sunday during Easter Week. The Lord
opened my eyes as I looked around at the women in the jail just gather
around Nancy Dixon, Chaplain for the women on the 6th floor
every single time that she would come into the pod. I wondered how she
could stand having these women around her who were stinky, dirty, and rude.
I say this because that is how I felt about myself. When I went home I felt
that the Lord met me there. I did not leave Him on the steps of the jail
like so many times before. I meditated daily on Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know
the plans I have for you, declares the Lord...” I would get up in the
morning with the Word and attend AA Meetings. But more importantly, I went
to the House of God. I love the Psalm that says, “O, taste and see that the
LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Psalms 34:8
I was able to connect
with Nancy through one of the chapel workers Christy, who I ran into at the
Bible House. I gave her my phone number, and later I received a phone call
from Nancy Dixon inviting me to lunch. I want you to know that just like
Jesus said, if anyone opens the door of their heart that He would come into
have supper with them, so has Nancy Dixon done with me. We have been
friends for approximately 13 years and 1 month. I want you to know that
outside of Jesus, this is the longest friendship that has been really based
on Love. This is God's Special Love which keeps me going. I was able to
get custody of my son soon after my release from jail.
I give God all the
Glory for what he has done in my life, taking me back to school and
graduating from the Master of Social Work Program 1999. I have had the
opportunity of working with Nancy Dixon doing chapel services for
approximately 8 years. I had the opportunity to work with Evangel Home as
House Manager at the Crisis House and also as Program Manager at the Cross
Roads Program. I have been working with Tulare County Health & Human
Services Mental Health Branch since 1997 to 1999 as an Alcohol & Drug
Specialist, and now as a Clinical Social Worker.
I am enjoying building
into my children and grandchildren’s lives. There is so much that I can say
about the goodness of God in my life. I have found that He is faithful to
me all the time no matter what I do or how bad I can mess it up! It is
Jesus who cares for me all the time 24-7. No one can do me like Jesus.
Samaritan
Women
